We lost today. 2-3. So close but not enough. I succeed " my-every-game-goal": max 1 goal for every period what makes equal total 3 goals for 1 game. It makes me elated when I have(can) done(do) better. It makes me feel good when I succeed " my goal". Kind of. But today it's tough. As a goalie I shouldn't take the "miss boll" too serious and just let it be.. Just forget. But today is not that day.
I just want to do better than I did today. If I take this step it means I am going to higher the quality, focus, discipline- Everything! And it means I am going to reach the higher level.
But there are so many levels. When you thought you have reached your level 10 it turns out there is level 11. There is so many levels.. Maybe I should relax and instead get one level down? (like that exercise with steps- one step back, two forward. One step back, two forward. ) That's not giving up. That's one of the scariest and one of the toughest steps in athletes life to face this fact and take the step backwards, I think. Be patient, wait for all's best even if you are ready to fight for next level. Is this right?
If you are climbing towards to the top with your climber-friends, you should stick together and stay patient. You will reach the top sooner or later. (Only if you don't decide to go home.)
Levels in life.
I should listen to my friends and just stop think so much. I come home after a game, got some food, took a shower, fall into a pillows in front of TV and tried to " not to think". Went to sleep and tried not to think.
But thought like a worm in the apple goes through you every step/ mistake/ good things you did.
Took my shoes on and took a long walk with my thoughts under the rainy sky. There is some things you can't change. If you do, trust me, you will not be happy and after a while you will be back on your feet by being yourself again.
Sometimes I complain and agree than I think too much, but that's amazing where these thoughts have brought me. If I start to wonder about something for sure I will finish this thought directly or after a long while and put it in the shell as a book. After a while I might pick it up again and re-think and put it in another shell. That's who I am, and I don't feel bad about it. To be able to think brings you to whole new " way of thinking". Once you own your own thought what connects with some other(thought of yours) or others (person) thoughts, you experience something very special as a person you are. It's "something" what lifts up your spirit.
#99
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