GoalieThinking#1

I had this awesome opportunity this year to be goalie coach for Västmanlands districts-teams 15 years old girls. Took 6th place in Swedens Championships between regions in Umeå last weekend.
That feeling, when you see "your work put into" these goalies and see their succeed is overwhelming! I even gave my point of view to boys team's goalies. Two more talantive goalies I have ever seen! Thanks for this time together! 

Was wondering how good I was at age 15? At that age I become Latvian Floorball League National Goalie and went to my first World Championships 2005 in Singapore. If I compere 15 years old me with me today- that gap is huge! My development has been enormous! And I still feel like I have so lot to reach for!

Yesterday I had a deep conversation with one of my goalie's friend. We talked about pressure as being goalie and how to let go of lost game and how to move on or not to stop of being goalie and keep the passion alive.
Well.. I think it's up to goalie.
I lost my passion as being goalie so this season I am playing out and I am goalie coach. Sometimes you have to let go and take a break. You have to listen to yourself.
As one of my friend told me once:

“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

Being a goalie in my eyes are something "heaven sent". Not everyone can be a goalie. It takes a lot of work with yourself, thinking, pressure and emotions. Control them. Talk to close friends. Talk about how you feel. Try to understand how you feel. Analyze. Settle new goals, push yourself! Focus on you! Don't settle for less. We are like lonely standing wolfs time to time. Pick up all your strength you have and move forward. Work hard! Remember your best game and keep it in your memory. Move forward to that moment and become stronger and more powerful than ever!

#99

"Just score. Please.. just score.." - goalie whispering.

Just saw Holland's and Argentina's game.
But first Holland's and Costa Rica's game. Penalty shoots after Death to Sudden. Coach Van Gal switches goalies in last minute of play. Jasper Cillessen are forced to leave goal and give up place for co-goalie Tim Krul.
It's something very special what goalies have to go threw. That's not easy and if you have never been a goalie, I don't suspect you to understand. This post is not about how "special" you have to be to decide to be a goalie. It's all about Goalie Thinking and state of mind we, goalies, have to go threw. Here is one aspect why Holland lose tonigt.

Holland- Costa Rica.
Coach switches goalies.
Jesper get's angry because he didn't do anything wrong during the game. At first he is irritated, but after victory over Costa Rica, he asks for forgiveness to teammates, 'couse we (goalies) many times have been put in situation like this when you have to accept those magic words- WHAT'S BEST FOR TEAM.
Tim has a "living the dream" moment. Hero!
Jespers self-confidence shakes a little bit. Frustration. i swear, it's there. And if no one talks about it, it gets even worse. But at this high level performance you forget about it. Kind of. But it's there. It's fear you denied. You don't forget this kind of moments. That's experience (fear) for life..


Holland- Argentina.Jesper does a super-good game. Brave moves in front of his own goal just one step distanced with opponent. Seems like Jesper feels good and is self confident. Penalty shouts.

You don't know if there will be penalty shoots or not, but when that moment comes closer and closer.. Pressure by your own mind. Fear is back- "Will Coach trust me and put me as keeper?" He did.
Jesper gets in goal. Didn't save anything.

Jesper- all what he has to prove was than he is first choice. Pressure one. Holland does the first shoot. Miss! Guess what, double pressure for Goalie! I have to prove I am good! (Negative energy) If coach trusted him and put him in net, he has to be good at penalties too. But now he have to prove something what he was unconsciously pointed at Costa Ricas game than he is not good enough for penalties.
Tim- if choice might felt on his shoulder to guard the Teams net again, the energy might be positive, because in his pocket is victory and hero-status. He might be saving those shoots with feeling he is trusted. He plays with no fear.

So in my opinion, if you took the goalie out of the net while he was doing great game,  YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU THOUGHT SO! If he is not that good at penalties (which in this situation is so absurd!), you say it. We learn from critics. Everyone should and does.

It's really important to feel trust for us. You have no idea.. If you(as coach) take moment as given like goalie apologize for his behaviour when he was mad, the situation is not solved! Than you have ignored his most valuable need- trust. With no trust in goalie, you can't win. We are like background, if it shakes, whole Team is going to fall.
If goalie loses his trust, he is broken one...
And at this point it's not only goalie coach who has to talk with goalie.. he has to talk and understand his main coach.

And for all players who read this, DO THE FUCKING GOAL!!! That's all what we ask from you. (and little help in defense by choosing right position, thank you :)).

I bet a loooot of people will write down Jesper, if don't.. they will be thinking of it, because Tim is still the Hero. But who's fail is this?

"Just score. Please.. just score.." - goalie whispering.

#99

It's not that complicated as you think.

You are what you think.
You are what you "eat".
Your actions is a act of your imagination.
Speak your mind. Don't be an idiot.
Change the World.
Start with yourself.





Saw this photo on PETA page:
Its true.
Just look at this dog. It deserves better, don't you think? And there are thousands of animals being abused mentally and physically. Or maybe I should correct myself and say it's she or he. At one of the point we all are equal, we all are animals, mammals but at other we- people are the dominant. It is us who chain them. I did it, because i am a human. No other mammal could do that. If you imagine a monkey doing it than monkey have been seen it doing from us. I speak in voice of all humanity. We are the action of our imagination. Action with low responsibility and non thinking. It's like let the river flow faster and faster and believe than it's simple as close the water taps to stop the river too. Its not. Same with irresponsible actions with a short thought of solution, in this case- chaining the dog.
Imagine this dog unchained. Free, running and jumping happily around you with his tail swinging nuts from right to left. Imagine its joy seeing you coming home. I believe than even this dog has a heart full of love to his human. it's just chain which hold it to his fear.

It's sad. I am thinking about animal shelter full of grown up dogs/cats and much more. Their endless will will never be discovered and all they dream about is home. And their Human.

This is Asar. 8 years old cat with beautiful green eyes. I and my sister adopted him a year ago from cat shelter in Visby. He is tipical "bad-ass" with his cat-ignorence- attitude, but it's amazing how much love and appreciation he brings.

Fabulous Christmas Cat. :) 

You want to make a change and make this World a better place? You know what is right.

xoxo Cherry Me.

Practice More!

Today I heard a true story of a girl. She is teenager and she loves floorball. She practices with her team aprox.4 times in a week plus time to time she goes to family's garage and jumps with jump rope, do push ups and lot more. She knows(feels?) the value in what she do even if it comes unconsciously, but she gets stronger and better every day. She is the one who will "take over".

I used to be someone similar as her. Where did it all went? The passion! The ache for this game! The joy!

Where is that girl who after practice drove home and  time to time went for an extra run or did some extra exercises and felt so great about it?
The girl, young women sits here, but the passion is gone.

I can easily see myself starting over where I left it all.. it's just push my ass out of cozy pillows, put a warm clothes on and just do it! It's easy like 1,2,3. No weather can stop me, no tiredness, no bad day or bleeding nose. The only thing what stops me is myself. My will. My power of will to make a change. To become better so in this point the whole team is going to be better because of my performance. " I can easily see myself starting over where I left it all.. Again." I had pushed myself several times during this season, but...

It's gone. The passion of being goalie. I lost it for first time playing with Endre 2 years ago. Last year I played as defender. It was fun! I followed my heart and lost my mind.
I AM A GOALIE, for god sake. I am the last person you can trust and I own the most dangerous area during the game. I love it! Responsibility as goalie, trust from teammates and making impossible saves possible! That's something I love about being goalie. I followed my heart and lost my mind again. It's like a never ending circle to me. In August I got back in goal again. I felt the "undiscovered energy"of my own abilities to become the best goalie. I set that as my goal. I don't know if anyone else have experienced that too, but that feeling was(still is) so strong than in my mind I understand than " I have the place where to grow". The sad part is, there is something what's stopping me.

Maybe I am too young, and scared to turn it around and maybe make a change so I may turn a lot of people against me.(I don't think than I should do it by myself and I don't feel myself strong enough to do that.) But isn't it the right thing to do when you feel than you are right? But what if not!( That's why I wait just to not make a mistake. But we learn form mistakes! I do. I did. I just know it hurts so damn much knowing you was wrong, you apologized but you are not forgiven. And you live with this feeling everyday.I let it go, but it comes back. You forget about it, than you remember. It's like a circle.) I believe than things happens for a reason, there have to be reason why I start to play Endre and now I am playing in Silverstaden. There have to be reason why I am experiencing two different attitudes based on inside team spirit.

As a goalie in Endre, I can tell, it was tough, but it was great. I learned a lot, I showed my anger and tears. I showed than I care. I become better I. Stronger. More ambitious. I finally understood than I am a really good goalie which a lot of teams may appreciate in their team. But you always has to choose between something. In my case it was choice between stay or go.

Last Friday we had game against Endre.
Ther's something I miss. This team has a strong team spirit and the energy. You can feel it by their attitude, by the way their are entering the sport hall. These girls are like one strong family and you know than they have each others back. If you push one of them, you push all of the team and none likes to be pushed. They react. But they react as a team. Together. I can only wish a good luck for them 'couze they are worth the Gold!
Same feeling I might say about Iksu and Mora.
Let's the best team win!

Honestly is a great character. I have it. I love to speak the truth. The my truth. I will get critics, I will hear good words and it's okej to stay like that.
It's not much left for this season to end. I have learned a lot, have worked on my patient and fighting with emotions. Too much energy wasted on things I shouldn't care about, but that's what I do. And the gap of self- goalie-development seems have been untouched. I want to "fix" what's broken all around me in first and than only take care about myself. But that's not what the World needs as Espen told me once: "Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive". -Howard Thurman
When I start something, I care, and try to make the best of it. I don't quit. I believe there is more than just me who have learned a lot from this season. I agree, we are not worth the last place. We should be in Top 8. To take that place we have to give more than we have done until now. Much more. Everyone starting with me (and you as individuals). A lot much more! It ain't over 'til it's over!

"18 points to fight for! Everything is Possible!"

#99

what's the goalie biggest fear?

Everyone fear something. From time to time or all the time. Constantly.

This is personal.
This is my fear.

Every game goalie have... is something special. This "fight: Who will start at goal" for every game is tough. A lot of players and don't even coaches know this feeling, which actually is on the whole season. This fight most familiars to goalies and reservists. You don't know the feeling until you know the feeling."Walk the Talk" calls it. What I meant to say than every game is precious.

The truth about this goalie, me, is than I love this sport by whole my heart. I even believe it has saved my life! (why's that? Read it here.) I love to analyze my mistakes to get better and better and I love to remember the awesome saves which gave the adrenaline to my body and smile on my lips afterwards. I love to do my best! I love to found the ways to become better and be closer to my best "goalie shape". It's mental and it's physical. At this moment I can't describe the my ideal goalie shape ( if I do, it means I will analyze it again and again), but I know than one day I will feel than this is it- I don't want to go further. I have become the goalie I wish for! I believe you can only feel it. It's the only way how to know what's right. The heart knows the answers. We just have to be brave enough to not to let the mind get scared. And that's tuffy!

What I am scared of than I will give up before I reach it. But I feel like I am done soon... The truth is the floorball don't put the food on my table. The truth is I am more than a goalie in life. I have so creative and beautiful soul to be exposed! That's something I want to make a living of. That's somewhere I want to start to build my family and settle down. I don't want to reach from team to team, change town by town. I don't want to put my energy in fights which costs a stress and sad face. I want to stay ambitious as I am and be the only one who gets any kind of effect from that! I don't want to if you don't want that!

My biggest fear is to give up in middle of the game. It has happened, but it's only me who have noticed that. I fear of the day I will give up on myself. On other fight- the fight with myself to be better and better one.

#99