Fear. Confused. Simply scared of what will be and what will happened.
It turned out well again. It's true- I should stop worry about things which is impossible to change in given moment. Jest let it be. But that's not that simple, right? Still learning.
It feels like this program which I take is quite suitable in my opinion, for me. I feel like already this first week have locked up and faded away my illusion of "Latvian being in Swedish school will just don't work." It might. It was the language which made me the most worried about starting the studies.
Will I understand what we are going to talk about in classes?
Will I manage to write in Swedish ?
It's going to be tough, but I feel like I will get thru this too. I have to try.
I went for a run. It's crazy how many questions and thought just spin around and around my head. Does it happens to you too?
In school we were talking about reflection about coaching and things in common. My biggest question is to figure out how to control my feelings. Even today by thinking over and over things in my head while running, I started to cry in 1 mile track. But that's not the first time.
My worst enemy is me and myself only. Worrying about things I can't solve at the moment takes away my energy so I feel not at my best while giving the performance at floorball field and not even at physical practices beside the floorball.
I feel crushed inside. So many things to put together. So many things I wish I could fix just in a blink of an eye. As much as I try to handle them by myself, I need someone to talk about this. Talk not just to get an answer, but most important to be heard and understand. Since my sister don't live here in Sweden, I been trying to handle my thoughts all by myself.. It don't go so well...
I wanted to get lost in a woods, in 1 mile track, but that's exactly where I found myself.
//99
