Sadly, but I don't feel good as person. I am not calm inside. I am not sure if I am in a right place thought all this travel...
Today I climbed Gesunda mountain outside the Mora city to challenge my body and mind in more peaceful way. Keep on going- the view at the top is beautiful indeed. I feel myself. I guess I am just scared of my state of mind about my position in Life right now.
I have signed the new contract with Kais Mora floorball team, but am I happy with this decision? Both of the ways. Yes and No.
I am not as strong as I pretend to be. I miss my family. I miss Latvian culture. I feel irrelevant here in Sweden. It's challenging sometimes the way the sweds are. I wish I could meet someone who may listen to me not just to answer, but to understand. But that may happend even if I would be living in Latvia right now (I suppose). I am a young woman who have been raised in different country, with a lot of different decisions and turning points and values. We are so similar but still so different as a nations. Am I losing my identity?
Traveling in time:
Exactly 8 years ago I landed in Sweden- Visby. All I had was a sport bag full of clothes and shoes.
Eight Years. These are my first hand-written posts in brand new country- Sweden.
Sadness, grief and loneliness. All I wanted was someone to held me tight and say than I will be fine.
When someone moves away from their family, friends and nationality, culture, steps outside their comfort zone and puts their smile on and says it's okej... it's fake. Don't leave them alone.
Eight Years of lots of true and fake smiles. Memories of greatness and true value in people and their actions. True friends and honesty and many sleepless nights with tears in my eyes.
Amazing how strong I have become, how many lessons I have learned, how many amazing people I have met and ...
I want to learn to trust the human-kind again.
#99
